Cheers and Jeers: Rum and Coke FRIDAY!

From the GREAT STATE OF MAINE?

"Farewell, Rainbow of Terror"

As of tomorrow, America will have spent nine years (3,287 days, but who's counting?) under the watchful eye of  the federal government's color-coded Homeland Security Advisory System. Whee!

Tom Ridge changed---or was pressured to change---the colors ten times during the system's first two years, mostly due to the dire threat of Democrats winning elections. He then apparently lost the key to the color-changing control box and we've been stuck at "Yellow" ever since.

Well, except for airports. Since the 9/11 attacks, we've poured billions into airport security: personnel training, grandma-sniffing dogs, metal detectors, gunpowder detectors, liquid detectors, sharp-object detectors, X-ray machines, gamma-ray machines, luggage scanners, laptop scanners, body scanners, shoe scanners, scanners to scan the scanners (can't be too careful, y'know), residue swabbers, snazzy new uniforms ("Badges? Hell yeah, we need stinkin' badges!"), plastic trays, latex gloves, and a giant throbbing no-fly list to catch devious types like the late Senator Ted Kennedy. With all this hardware and firepower surrounding our airports in a bubble of security unprecedented in our nation's history, naturally the threat level is higher than everywhere else: it's at Level Boehner.

But not for long. Like sands through the hourglass, so are the days of the "Ruh-roh Rainbow." Earlier this year the director of Kochland Security, Janet Napolitano, announced that the color-coded terrorism advisory system is going bye-bye next month, to be replaced by?

?the National Terrorism Advisory System. The new plan calls for notifying specific audiences about specific threats. ? When agency officials think there is a threat the public should know about, they will issue an announcement and rely on news organizations and social media outlets to get the word out.

Sounds sensible, right? It did to me, too, until I read that House Homeland Security Committee chairman Rep. Peter King (R-NY) said he thinks the program "make sense." Now I'm back to wearing my Kevlar underpants and Lord of the Rings replica Gimli dwarf helmet to bed. Color me nervous.

I actually feel bad for poor, unused colors Blue and Green, which sat on the bench for nine long years, waiting to be called into service on behalf of a grateful nation. I'd love to see Secretary Napolitano take us to level Blue and Green for the final two days of the system's existence. Just so their children---Fuchsia, Taupe and Jade---can look up to their ma and pa with pride.

So, to commemorate what will be its last birthday, let's all take a moment to raise our three-ounce bottles of hair gel and offer our traditional salute---which also happens to be the motto of the Republican party---for the last time to the color-coded terror threat advisory system:

"Ooga Booga!"

Your west coast-friendly edition of  Cheers and Jeers starts below the fold... [Swoosh!!] RIGHTNOW! [Gong!!]

Source: http://feeds.dailykos.com/~r/dailykos/index/~3/wtQ917NZq5Q/-Cheers-and-Jeers:-Rum-and-Coke-FRIDAY!

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